


Do You Feel The Same Way?

by AgxntReign



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Cheryl feels bad, F/F, Friends With Benefits, Gay, How do I tag?, Slow Burn, They are clueless beans, Toni just needs some loving, cannon bi character, cheryl is a serpent, im sorry for this, jughead is clueless, sweet pea can be an asshat
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-31
Updated: 2018-09-19
Packaged: 2019-05-16 07:49:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14807249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgxntReign/pseuds/AgxntReign
Summary: A year has past since the arrest of the black hood and Hiram Lodge. Its Senior year and all of the kids have made it this far. Although they all well almost all of them made it out alive their friendships/relationships however did not. Archie and Veronica broke up and Betty and Jughead also broke up but in a mutual agreement in order to keep things cool with the serpents since she had recently joined the southside gang.. Cheryl and Toni? Well they had a pretty rough break up. Cheryl soon found out that Toni had been keeping something from her and when she confronted her girlfriend the young girl refused to tell her so they yelled back and forth for weeks until one day Cheryl was the one to break up the relationship because she couldn’t stand not knowing everything. They both have had a rough go at things since the break up but Toni has had it worse. Although she was  part of the serpents before Cheryl, her friends ditched her for the redhead due to the fact that she was lying, This caused her to start drinking and fall off the wagon, soon she started to ignore all of her other friends in general except for Veronica Lodge.





	1. Agree to Disagree

**Author's Note:**

> Okay okay so im sorry for this but i just had to write a slow burn Choni fic. Please comment what you think and tell me if you want to see more! okay well i hope you enjoy!

Toni woke up to a headache and the feeling of small arms wrapped around her torso and she leaned into the touch for a second before realizing ‘This isn’t Cheryl… this cant be Cheryl’ she turned her head to see an unrecognizable blonde. She sighed before slipping out of the girls grip making sure she wouldnt wake up and put her jeans on over her compression shorts and grabbed one of her flannels putting it over her tank top not bothering to button it. She wrote a message on a notepad telling the blonde to show herself out that she had left for school and this was a one time thing only. 

 

As she walked to the bathroom she looked at her now bluish purple streaks in her hair as she pulled it into a side braid. When she was done braiding her hair she looked at herself in the mirror and sighed again, she quickly (Poorly) applied some makeup to cover up her dark circles under her eyes before she grabbed her bag and a flask then headed out to School.

 

When she walked into school she was greeted by a very peppy and smiley Veronica Lodge. As soon as she saw the brunette the raven haired girl frowned “You look awful” the girl commented

 

Toni rolled her eyes before she sat down on the couch next to her raven haired friend “Why thank you, not like i haven’t noticed” Toni said in a raspy voice while holding her head slightly from the headache 

 

Veronicas frown grew and she sighed “How much did you drink last night” she asked as she dug through her bag and pulled an advil out of a plastic bag handing it to Toni along with her water. 

 

Toni gratefully took the advil and took a swig of the water before taking the pill “I can’t even remember what happened last night after I left your place…” She sighed 

 

“Toni!!” Ronnie exclaimed as she heard what the brunette stated “That’s it! Look i know you are still upset about what happened with Cheryl and you don’t want any help but-” She was suddenly cut off by a certain redhead serpent walked into the lounge and a familiar looking blonde pushed past her and walked straight up to Toni slapping her twice and whispering something in her ear before walking away “Oh my god…” 

 

Cheryl woke up somewhat peacefully in her now seemingly empty bed. She sighed as she walked to the guest room and woke up Fangs who had been staying with her in thistlehouse for a while now. She quickly got dressed then put her now black leather serpent jacket on and headed to School. 

 

She and Fangs had ridden his motorbike to school and had just walked in when a blonde pushed past Cheryl and slapped… no maybe even punched Toni Topaz straight in the face causing the brunettes lip to bleed. Cheryls heart dropped at the sight but she knew that the brunette didnt want her help. She stood there frozen in place as she saw Veronica go straight to her friends aid and caressed her face. 

 

“Oh my god” Veronica whispered and looked around seeing Cheryl staring seeing the concern on her face “You don’t get to be concerned Cheryl. You’re the one who broke her.” The Raven haired girl said quietly before tending back to Tonis wound helping her up even though she didnt need too and guided her to the door closer to Cheryl 

 

“Veronica that wasn't necessary” Toni mumbled before she looked at Cheryl who was looking back at her now 

 

Ronnie shook her head as they passed Cheryl and Fangs “No Toni , it was necessary okay? She dumped you because she couldn’t stand not having the upper hand, then after that she stole all of your friends”  

 

“She wouldn’t have broken up with me if would have just been honest with her” Toni mumbled as they walked into the girls room and Veronica started cleaning up her bottom lip 

 

“No, don’t blame yourself Toni. you had a great reason to not be honest with her okay? You were scared and it is perfectly okay to be scared especially when it comes to you and your partner's sex life Toni. and if she isn’t okay with that then its her loss” Ronnie said while she finished cleaning up the wound 

 

“It’s not like she knew what i wasn’t telling her.” Toni said quietly then shook her head lightly “Plus it’s not just something everyone is okay with.” Toni pointed out 

 

“Still Toni you shouldn’t be ashamed of who you are.” Ronnie argued “Who cares what others think” 

 

“I don’t normally care about what others think Ronnie, i only care about what Cheryl thinks of me. What if i told her and she ended up breaking up with me because she thought i was a freak I- I wouldn’t have been able to deal with that.” She sighed as they went to class 

 

After school ended Cheryl headed to the Whyte Whyrm to over hear SweetPea and Jug talking about Toni. SP laughed ‘Yo, did you see the chick that punched Toni in the face this morning?” He asked Jughead with a laugh 

 

Jug raised an eyebrow and shook his head “No i didnt, what happened?”

 

SweetPea laughed again then Shrugged “I don’t know what caused her to punch Toni but she got her good. She split her lip open and there is most definitely going to be a bruise” He scoffed “I couldn’t care less about the bruise or cut, the bitch deserves it” 

 

Cheryl scowled then grabbed SweetPeas arm ‘Shut the hell up SP. That girl used to be like a sister to you and she most definitely doesn’t deserve to be beaten-’

 

SweetPea interrupted her ‘Doesn’t she though Cheryl? She ditched us, she lied to you and refused to tell you the truth. She used to be a sister to me yeah but that was before she turned on us” 

 

Cheryl rolled her eyes and chuckled “She didn’t ditch the Serpents, You ditched her. And before you go all macho on me think about this. Before we broke up She was staying with me, but before that she was staying with you because she didnt have anywhere else to stay. So when we broke up and she moved out the next day and went to you for a place to stay what did you do?” she paused seeing if SP was going to reply but he just stood there quietly “Well since you cant seem to remember let me remind you. You yelled at her, cursed at her, called her a lying bitch, oh and lets not forget how you slammed the door in her face.”

 

She spoke and saw he was about to say something “Hang on im not done. Because after practically leaving her homeless You and the rest of the serpents started excluding her from everything, You were supposed to be her family, She trusted you she loved you. And you treated her like dirt. For the past 2 years Toni has had no one but Veronica by her side and you know what? I’m smart enough to admit that, that is my fault. I stole all her friends away from her. I am the reason why her family left her in the dirt. That girl has been treated like dirt for the past 2 years by you and the other serpents and im tired of hearing your bullshit SP! Im tired of it! She didn’t ditch you guys, you ditched her. So think about that next time you wanna say she deserves to be beaten or hurt emotionally or physically because she quote on quote ditched you” 

 

SweetPea stood there silently for a minute then spoke “Why are you defending her?” he sighed 

 

“Because SP, we may have had a rough break up but that doesnt mean that i don’t still love her.” she said quietly then cleared her throat “I-I’m going home, don’t bother coming over for movie night tonight.” she said as she turned around then walked out of the Whyrm. When she walked out she felt her phone buzz in her pocket and she checked to see who it was almost tripping over her own foot seeing the username.

 

_ TTopaz 4:05 Pm: Hey, i just wanted to apologize for Ronnies rude behaviour today. We may not be together anymore but i still care about you. Again, im sorry. ~Love, Toni  _

 

Cheryls heart skipped a beat as she read the last part of her message  

 

C_bombshell 4:08 PM: Don’t worry about it, but thank you. I hope your lip gets better. P.S.- I still care about you too 

      **~Love, Cheryl**


	2. The Break up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two weeks after Toni messages Cheryl. Cheryl starts to remember the day they broke up. 
> 
> Flashback scene

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im sorry for the shortage of words in this Chapter but i promise i will work my hardest next chapter!!! Also comment what you think it really helps me

Two weeks. It had been 2 weeks since the incident with SweetPea in the Whyrm. 2 weeks since Toni had texted Cheryl that night. After that night Cheryl had texted Toni check up on Her to make sure she was okay after the incident in the lounge. Surprisingly Toni responded telling her things like that happen to her all the time.

Cheryl felt so guilty, She knew she was the reason why Toni is treated the way she is. If it werent for her taking the break up so badly maybe Toni would still have her friends… The break up. Right, she could remember everything as if it were yesterday

* * *

_ Cheryl laid there on their queen sized bed as Toni was atop of her while pressing a long passionate kiss to the redheads neck causing Cheryls hips to jerk and Toni to pull away. “T?” Cheryl said quietly as Toni pulled off of her “Toni, hey whats wrong?” _

_ “It’s nothing Cher” Toni said in a whisper as she pulled a pillow onto her lap as she sat up against the headboard of the bed  _

_ Cheryl rolled her eyes as she sighed and sat up “Really Toni?” She looked at the pink haired girl with an icy glare “Its obviously not nothing, you’ve been acting really weird recently do you really think i havent noticed?” _

_ Toni looked down then at Cheryl “I dont know what you are talking about Cher” Toni lied as she looked at Cheryl  _

_ “Cut with the bullshit Toni! You keep pushing me away, every single time we get close, you push me away. I know you’re not telling me something, because you have this look every time you are trying to keep things from me, and i see right through it.”  _

_ Toni looked at her and shook her head “Cheryl-”  _

_ “Or maybe its because you dont want to sleep with me, because you dont think im good enough or-” Cheryl ranted until Toni interrupted her  _

_ “That’s not it Cheryl” She said quietly looking down “Why are you going off on me” she whimpered  _

_ “Why aren’t you being honest with me?” Cheryl said softly and looked at Toni “I’m your girlfriend Toni, god you live with me.”  _

_ “Cher… i cant” She said as she shook her head  _

_ “I can’t be in a relationship if we arent honest with each other T” Cheryl said as she stood up rubbing her forehead with her hand  _

_ “W-What are you saying?” Toni stood up a look of what one could only say was terror on her face  _

_ “I can’t do this Toni” she shook her head trying to blink away her tears _

_ Toni quickly went to Cheryl scanning her face “Cher don’t please” she said as she grabbed her hand. All she wanted to do was be honest with her and not hide anything but she was terrified that it would change everything  _

_ Cheryl quickly pulled her hand away “No Toni, were supposed to be in a relationship! You don’t keep things from your girlfriend, you dont lie to her, You’re not supposed to keep things from me” she said while wiping her tears away “I can’t do this.”  _

_ “Cher please” Toni cried, for the first time ever The brunette had cried in front of someone other than fangs or SweetPea _

_ Cheryl looked up and sniffed as she stood stiffly “Leave… just go Toni please just… just go I cant do this any longer. You wanted to push me away… well congratulations consider me pushed away”  _

_ Toni held back anymore tears and nodded “Okay, if thats what you want Bombshell. Ill see you around” she choked out as she grabbed her small bag of clothes and walked out _

* * *

Okay yeah she overreacted and yeah she could have reacted differently, but she cant change the past. Especially after the way she spoke to the girl who once loved her. All she could do was sit there and make sure she was okay. 

So thats exactly what she did, she walked up to Toni and tapped her shoulder “TT? I just wanted to make sure you were okay” Once the girl turned around a giant waft of the smell of Alcohol hit Cheryl and she frowned “You’re drinking again” she stated 

Toni looked at Cheryl and rolled her eyes “Wow good job! You figured me out” she said sarcastically “Not that i dont love hearing you worry about me but you kinda lost all rights to being worried about me and my health when you broke up with me kicked me to the curb and turned all my friends against me. You broke up with me, you dont get to worry about me” 

Cheryl looked at the girl quite shocked by her words “I Dont understand… one second you are apologizing for Veronica saying those things and the next you are saying it as if you have practiced saying it a million times” 

Toni laughed “Why can’t you just leave me alone?!?! I get it! I lied to you, i wasn’t honest, I was a horrible girlfriend! It’s all i think about! I Fucked up and i know it but there’s no changing it. I get that you have all the friends i used to have and i get that you have it better than me but i don’t need your stupid fake pity!” 

“Fake pity?” Cheryl Croaked “You think this isnt me actually caring about you at all? Newsflash hotstuff i still care for you” 

“If you cared Cheryl” she started “Then why did you just leave me on the side of the road on my own and take all my friends?” 

“If you still hate me and believe all these things then why did you apologize all those nights ago?” Cheryl snapped “If you still hate me why do you still stare longingly at me in class?” She sobbed “If you hate me why do you still put birthday cards in my locker?” 

Toni closed her locker and looked at Cheryl, she had to do something to get her away, so she wouldn't be tempted to open up to the girl and tell her what it was that caused them to break up in the first place. “Momentary lapses of judgement, trust me it won't happen again” she stated “Now ill see you around” she pushed past the redhead as she held onto her bag

Cheryl shook her head and walked up in front of her “Thats not fair Toni” she said quietly “You cant just say all of that and just leave. Thats not fair” 

Toni looked at her “Know what else isnt fair? How you broke up with me without hearing me out. Without letting me explain.” she stated “Now im going to head to class. Dont stop me” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on tumblr @agxntreign


	3. However you are

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I think it’s about time someone had a redemption chapter don’t you?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im sorry for the shortage of words in this Chapter but i promise i will work my hardest next chapter!!! Also comment what you think it really helps me

 

* * *

_I don’t go to parties anymore_

_‘Cause im afraid to see you when I open up the door_

_Standing there with my replacement_

_Laughing and smiling, while inside i’m dying_

_So i don’t go to parties anymore_

* * *

 

2 years 5 months and 4 days. Thats how long its been since Toni fell off the wagon. 2 years 5 months and 4 days since the love of her life left her all alone. 2 years, 5 months, and 4 days since every single one of Tonis friends abandoned her for the redhead.

 

Which is exactly why she sat here in shock as a certain raven haired boy stood in front of her fighting off an older man who moments before had one of his hands pinning Toni’s arms above her head against the wall behind the Whyte Whyrm landing multiple punches to her face and gut.

 

She stood in shock as a tall young man charged after the guy attacking her tackling him to the ground hitting him multiple times before standing up “Now get the hell out of here before I do something that we both regret you sick son of a bitch” SweetPea snarled at the man

 

The man just stared blankly at him then at Toni before he stood up “This isn’t the last you have seen of me bitch” he growled and ran off

 

Soon after the man ran off Toni collapsed to the ground as tears streamed down her face as she choked out her sobs into the palm of her hands as all of the surrounding sound around her faded out and all she heard was the small sobs escaping her until she heard a gentle voice speaking to her

 

“T, come on” SweetPea had been crouched down in front of the now blue haired girl not wanting to scare her. For the past two years he had been treating the girl like shit without having a second thought of what she was going through, but when he saw her behind the Whyrm crying and getting attacked. His protective big brother instincts he had for the girl all that time ago came rushing to the surface and he ran in and attacked the guy.

 

He hadn’t noticed till that moment how broken Toni had been, how badly she was affected by the break up. Instant guilt rushed through him as she saw the small broken girl sitting in front of him. “T, I’m here he’s gone i-it’s okay” he whispered as he rubbed the girls small arms lightly

 

Toni looked up with tears in her eyes which were now swollen and her lip was cut open along with a long gash across her cheek “Sweets?” she whimpered weakly as she saw the boy clearly

 

“Don’t worry T i’m here it’s okay” He said soothingly as the girl leaped into his arms and cried into his shoulder and he held her back tightly “Come on let’s get you cleaned up okay?” he said as he picked her up bridal style and stood up leading her into the Whyrm

 

“No… i can’t go in there” Toni whispered

 

“Okay okay… i’ll take you to my place then” he said as he hurried to his truck and put her in the passenger seat and then got in and drove to Sunnyside Trailer Park

* * *

_10 O’Clock on a Friday night_

_I get the text message with the place and time_

_But she probably got the same text so I can’t go_

_‘Cause I cant see her face right now._

_‘Cause if I do I know i might break down_

_And i’m not trying to make a scene, yes i’ll stay home_

* * *

 

Shortly after they arrived at SP’s trailer, Sp sat on a chair in his living room as he cleaned up the cuts on Tonis face. “You okay?” he asked softly

 

Toni nodded quietly as SP finished cleaning the wounds “Why are you helping me SP? I thought you hated me”

 

Sweets looked up at Toni as guilt pinged in his chest and he bit his lip “I’m sorry T, I don’t hate you, not at all. I was just so blind and well just plain stupid to even realise how much I hurt you and how much you needed me” He said softly “Everything I did, everything I said… Toni i didn’t mean it” he sighed “I thought i hated you until i saw you there getting beaten and all i could think of was making sure no one should get away with hurting someone that i love like a sister. And all i could think of was how much this was my fau-”

 

Toni cut the boy off by covering his mouth with her hand “Slow down Sweets, okay?” she laughed lightly “Thank you, for helping me”

 

Sweets smiled lightly then frowned “I’m sorry for everything Toni. I mean it” he put the first aid equipment away “It’s not the same without you”

 

“Sweets… I know you’re sorry and i’m grateful for how much you have helped me today but saying sorry isn’t going to automatically fix things… it’s going to take some time” she said lightly

 

“I’m willing to spend a much time as needed to fix what I did. If you are” He said quietly and his head perked up when Toni sighed

 

“I’m definitely willing to fix things sweets” She smiled “but…” she started “I fell off the wagon again Sweets… i’m a mess, i tried to clean up my act but i can’t find any motivation to do anything but drink, eat, and go to school. And even then i don’t even have any motivation to do my work” she whispered “All i can think of is how much i messed up and how much i want to just tell Cheryl what was going on with me” she shook her head “I act like i hate her and i don’t want anything to do with her but all i do is think about her, and i miss her so much Sweets. I kept such a big secret from her and I wish i could just take it back”

* * *

_Maybe next week I’ll be ready_

_To get dressed up and fake a smile_

_But I think she’s moved on already_

_So you won’t see me for a while_

* * *

 

“We all make mistakes T, you can’t put all the blame on yourself” Sweetpea stated “And if you didn't want to tel-” He was interrupted again by Toni speaking

 

“You don’t understand Sweets it’s… i wanted to tell her so bad. I wanted to be open with her i wanted to show her all of me, but I was so scared of losing her.” Toni sobbed

 

“Toni…” he said quietly “I understand that opening up to someone you love can be scary, trust me i do” he emphasized the words ‘i do’ as he spoke “But Cheryl lov-” he started before she spoke

 

“I’m Intersex” Toni said abruptly while scanning Sweetpeas face for any signs or disgust before looking down

 

Instead of showing disgust his face softened and he held her hand using his other hand putting his index finger on her chin lightly making her look up “That’s what you were afraid of telling us T?” he said softly and smiled sadly “Toni, you have to know that no matter what you are, no matter what is in your pants. That won’t change the way we feel about you. Nothing can change how much we care T. We love you for you not for what’s in your pants, and if someone had a problem with what’s in your pants… i’ll kick their ass” he laughed lightly and so did Toni “But really Toni, that’s nothing to be afraid of. We love you, however you are, no matter what you tell us.”

 

“You don’t think i’m a freak?” she questioned softly “My Mom and Dad thought so, same thing with my Uncle.” she stated “My mom and dad always treated me so bad because of how i wasn’t like all the other girls, because i was a freak. You always asked me why my parents just left me with my uncle and that’s why SP, they left me because i’m a freak.”

  


“Toni you’re not a freak, not one bit. And i’m so sorry that your own parents thought so” he sighed as he sat down next to her putting his arm around her while rubbing her arm “You’re beautiful no matter what okay?”

 

She nodded and laid her head on his shoulder as they sat on the couch and she sighed “I missed you so much Sweets, you have no ide-” She froze at the sound of the trailer door opening

 

Cheryl opened the door to the trailer “Sweets what the hell, you’re supposed to be at th-” She froze in her tracks as she saw the small girl in front of her with cuts all over her face along with a black eye “Toni” she said quietly

 

Toni stood up wincing slightly never taking her eyes off the redhead “Cheryl, Hey”

* * *

_Cause i don’t go to parties anymore_

_Cause i’m afraid to see you when i open up the door_

_Standing there with my replacement_

_Laughing and smiling while inside i’m dying_

_So i dont go to parties anymore_

_No_

* * *

 

 

**_So that’s the end of chapter 3 of “Do You Feel The Same Way” I hope you liked this chapter because i worked very hard on it! I decided to make SweetPea a redemption chapter and bring back the same big brother figure into Tonis life! Anyway thanks so much for reading, comments are greatly appreciated_ **

 

**_Song- Parties by Jake Miller_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on tumblr @agxntreign


	4. Chapter 4: Could you tell me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I think it’s time for Toni to listen don’t you?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry I didn’t post this sooner I had completely forgotten about it!! I worked really hard on this chapter so I hope you enjoy

* * *

__ Neither of us is at fault l   
But lately, if I'm being honest   
Nothing lights up when you call and I hate it   
Cause I've wanted love for so long and   
if we tried, we could probably make it

* * *

 

Cheryl opened the door to the trailer “Sweets what the hell, you’re supposed to be at th-” She froze in her tracks as she saw the small girl in front of her with cuts all over her face along with a black eye “Toni” she said quietly 

Toni stood up wincing slightly never taking her eyes off the redhead “Cheryl, Hey” 

Cheryl looked at Toni eyes wide before she looked at SP then back at the girl “W-What uh what happened to you?” she asked giving Toni no time to reply she walked inside and looked at SP “What happened to her? Is she okay?” 

Toni sighed as she looked at the girl that owns her heart, then as SP who looked frozen in place “ _ She _ is right here” Toni stated “And i’m fine Cheryl, not like you actually ca-” She stopped speaking when she saw Cheryl's gaze go from worried to a mixture of anger and worry and her jaw visibly clenched, she could see a flame of worry burning in her beautiful dark brown eyes as she glared at her, and it made her melt inside. 

 

_ Control yourself, Toni.  _

 

Cheryl looked at Toni and her jaw clenched before speaking “Don’t you dare say that I don’t care about you anymore” she snapped causing SweetPea’s eyes to widen and mumble that he will give them a moment before walking to his room. Everything was silent until she started speaking again “I get it okay Toni? I get why you are mad, I get that I am the reason you are the way you are now, okay?” she said as her voice was lowering. “I get that I broke your heart, that I took it and shattered it into pieces that I ripped away the few people that you considered your family.”

* * *

Holdin you would always feel wrong and I hate it   
My heart doesn't race when you look at me   
My voice doesn't shake cause I'm nervous

* * *

 

Toni gulped as she let the tears fall down her face “ _ Cheryl” _ she whispered

 

“No I’m not done” Cheryl shook her head “ Toni I understand I really do, but what you don’t understand.” She looked up shaking her head blinking a few times making her tears disappear before she looked back at her and spoke as she choked back her tears “What you don’t understand or what you haven’t even thought of was how that affected me. How it- made me feel like shit for wanting honesty in our relationship, for wanting you to be able to feel like you could trust me enough to be honest” 

_ Control. _

Tears finally starting to fall down her face Cheryl sniffed “Don’t you dare think that I don’t care, that I wasn’t upset, because what I did Toni? After I did it I felt like shit, I hated myself for what I did and I still do today. There isn’t one thing that I regret more than what I did to you. All I do is think of you. I stay awake at night worried about if you are going to make it home to Veronica’s house in one piece.” She sighed “I never meant for any of this to happen T, when I broke up with you that didn’t mean I stopped loving you because I could never stop loving you.”

* * *

I lie awake but I'm only thinkin of what we're missin   
And I've been holding on cause I'm scared to say goodbye   
But I've been fightin this for a long, long time   
Nothing's really wrong, but that doesn't mean it's right

* * *

 

Finally having a chance to talk Toni scanned Cheryl’s face before speaking “If you knew what I wouldn’t tell you I guarantee you wouldn’t love me anymore” She said quietly “Trust me this is for the best” 

Cheryl’s gaze softened as she heard Tonis words “I’m sure that’s not true Toni” 

Toni shook her head “No, no it is- it is true Cheryl, I’m a freak, im not what you want. I could never give you what you need” 

Cheryl shook her head “Toni no, you’re not a freak.” She spoke softly “You are exactly what I need” she said quietly “You won’t know how I would react till you tell me TT, you can’t just give up” 

“Cheryl you don’t understand it’s not that easy.” Toni whispered “This… this secret it’s- it’s the reason why my parents just left me, why they abandoned me”

“Toni, I know its hard but not every person you meet are going to be like your parents. We all aren't going to have the beliefs as them. And I would hope that you know that I would love you no matter what you tell me" she said softly

“I’m intersex Cheryl.” she blurted out before covering her mouth and she looked at Cheryl seeing an odd look on her face “I told you. Im a freak” she mumbled 

* * *

I wish I could ignore it but I realize   
I don't miss you when I'm not with you love

* * *

  
I don't miss you when I'm not with you “No no i just…” she laugher lightly “this is embarrassing...but I don't know what that means Toni…” she said sheepishly “Is that like a sexuality I never knew about or?” 

Tonis eyes widened and she held back a laugh “No no no it's not a sexuality Cher, It means that i don’t have genitalia that is 100% male or female...it's like a… mixture" she said quietly 

Chery’s eyes widened and her mouth opened in a shape of an o “ohhhhh" she said with a laugh then her face softened “Wait that's what you were afraid of telling me?” she asked and Toni nodded looking down “Toni" she said softly “I don’t care about what is in your pants" she sighed “I love you for you not for what's in your pants” she hesitantly walked to the girl using two fingers to lightly push her chin up to look at her “You are beautiful no matter what Toni.”

Toni felt the redhead wipe the tears from her face and she looked at her silently before speaking “Then why did they leave me..” she cried lightly 

Cheryl looked at the girl with a frown “Because they aren't good people TT. They are horrible people, and they don't deserve you" 

“You dont think im a freak?” she asked softly while finally making eye contact with the redhead 

“Of course i dont think youre a freak Toni, you are still you, you have not changed at all" she said softly rubbing Toni’s cheek with her thumb “You are still the same Antoinette Topaz that i fell in love with sophomore year. What's in your pants does not change that"

“I’m such an idiot aren’t i?” Toni laughed through her tears “I miss you Cher” she admitted softly “I’m a wreck without you in my life” 

* * *

So darlin, if you asked yourself if you really love me,   
could you tell me that you weren't feelin this as well?   
Could you tell me?

* * *

 

“I miss you too Cha cha” Cheryl laughed softly “How about we be friends okay?” she asked softly “And if things go back to how they were before and we end up together then so be it” 

Toni nodded before she launched herself to Cheryl wrapping her arms around the redheads torso holding her tightly never wanting to let go

This is it, this was the moment where Toni realised, her home wasn’t the Southside, it was Cheryl. She was willing to wait a lifetime if it meant she could be back with her, so that’s what she is going to do. She is going to wait.

_ Because Cheryl is her home. And she could not wait till she got home _

* * *

_ Could you tell me? _

* * *

 


	5. something you wont regret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toni and Cheryl are frustrated

_[2 Months later]_

_Two months, 61 days to be exact. That’s how long it’s been since Cheryl and Toni started talking again. 61 days since Toni told Cheryl the truth about who or what she really was._

_61 days of complete and utter torture for the two girls. Ok okay yeah maybe that’s a bit exaggerated but let’s be honest. In the past 2 months Toni and Cheryl have had these moments, full of all this sexual tension. And what had happened a week ago is what got Toni sending over the edge_

_[1 week ago]_

_“TT!!!” Cheryl called out as she walked into Toni’s room as the girl was about to walk out. They fell onto each other and Cheryl landed on top of Toni laughing “Oh my god I’m so so-“ She gulped as she looked at the brunette and licked her lips slightly seeing how close they were._

_Toni gulped as she felt the redhead moving above her and she sighed “it’s okay Cher” she laughed as she tried to not move her hips much and she smiled at the redhead whose head was close to hers “Hey” she whispered as she smiled softly_

_Suddenly the redhead moved her hips slightly well more than slightly, she shifted a bunch and Toni couldn’t stand it she sighed and pulled the redhead off her and went to her wardrobe resting her head on the shelf tapping her fingers on top of the piece of wood “T, whats wrong?” Cheryls soft voice called out behind her “Did I hurt you when we fell…?”_

_“No. that’s not- its fine Cheryl its nothing” she mumbled as she heard the girl walk to her and she shook her head “I just want to be alone okay?” she asked quietly and she could almost feel the frown on Cheryls face at her words._

_The redhead sighed then nodded before she cleared her throat “Okay then, ill let you be then” she mumbled as she walked out._

_As soon as she heard the door shut she opened her eyes and looked down at her crotch area groaning as she saw her situation. “Damn it Topaz cant even keep yourself together for five seconds around her now can you?”_

_[Now]_

_She knows its not just her, its not in her head. Its real it has to be, and there is only one way to find out how the redhead feels. Its not her best idea but it’s the only way to see if the redhead was just as sexually frustrated as she is. Okay yeah its her worst idea ever but she could only think of one thing. So since she got home before Cheryl she sat on the couch and looked around letting tears fall from her eyes (#1 actor)_

_Cheryl walked inside and called out for Toni but when she didn’t get an answer she walked to the living room to see Toni laying there “Toni!” she jumped “Whoa you scared me” she laughed and looked at the brunette “What are you doing T?”_

_“Thinking” she stated as if it was obvious and she looked up at the redhead as she kneeled down next to the couch looking at her and noticing the tears “Im fine Cheryl” she mumbled_

_Cheryl looked at the brunette and shook her head lightly “Obviously something is bothering you T, if it was nothing then you would have already told me, now please tell me. What has you so upset T?” she said quietly rubbing the girls cheek slightly she was crying but she was still so beautiful_

_“You” Toni mumbled and Cheryls eyes widened and before the redhead could say anything the smaller girl cupped her cheeks pulling her in for a kiss and smiled slightly when she felt the girl return the kiss. Cheryl sighed before she realized all the crying was just an act, and to be honest it didn’t bother her at all. In fact for some unknown reason it made her want to kiss the girl more._

_Toni sighed as she felt the redhead shift, thinking she was going to pull away she started to furrow her eyebrows. That was until she realized the girl was not pulling away, she was just moving to straddle her lap. Oh. Yeah that definitely felt weird. She started to feel the girls hip grind against hers and she moaned slightly at the feeling of the girls hips against her… you know._

_“Toni we can’t-“ Cheryl mumbled as she pulled away putting her hands on the other girls shoulders shaking her head._

_Tonis eyes widened and she was about to ask what was wrong before she realized something. “Cher, you’re shaking”. She looked at the girl and smiled softly before sitting up slightly “Okay okay. Too fast I got it don’t worry” she said quietly_

_“I’m sorry TT” the redhead mumbled and shook her head lightly “It’s not that its too fast im just-“ she started_

_“You’re a Virgin aren’t you?” Toni interrupted her and saw the girl raise her eyebrow in confusion “I could tell by how you were shaking, look im sorry I don’t mean to push. I can tell why its something you’re afraid of with me” Toni said while shaking her head_

_“TT im not scared, I just don’t want to do something you might regret afterwards” She said softly “I want my first time to be with someone I love and you just happen to be one of them” she smiled_

_“I would not regret anything Cheryl. And to make things easier…it doesn’t have to mean anything if you don’t want it too” she said with a soft smile and that smile grew as the redhead nodded and she giggled “Good because ive been waiting for this to happen for years” she giggled “Come here” she whispered as she pulled the redhead in for a soft kiss._

_It was definitely a night to remember. Full of love, and lots of other things but you knew that already._

_To Be Continued…_

**Author's Note:**

> Ahhhh! Okay so i know that some of the characters in this arent like the ones in the show but for those who cant tell... it was written like that on purpose! I know this is out of character for SP but thatd just how i wrote him in the story. So sorry if that makes you not like the story. Im sure there will be some adjustments to his character in the future.


End file.
